What is “affair fog” anyway?

   

   

This term is used by both experts and affair victims. It describes the euphoria that one feels when they are involved in an affair. Remember how it felt when you first fell in love? During this time, the one having an affair will rationalize their actions so that they can minimize their guilt. They will even take it so far as to “invent” reasons why they are having an affair to begin with. Healing the marriage is impossible while they are in this fog.

The one having an affair will convince themselves that they’re in a bad marriage and/or that their spouse never really loved or understood them, when in reality this is far from the truth. Soon, the one having an affair will begin to actually believe the lies they are telling themselves so they then begin to act accordingly by treating their spouse very badly yet treating their affair partner in an affectionate and loving way. This is exactly how to addiction of affairs starts to take off.

The “Affair Fog” is really nothing more than a fantasy which is created by both of the affair partners. They see each other without flaws or weaknesses. The ones caught up in the affair are under the same influence as an addictive drug that is similar to a teenager in love. The bad news is that is it extremely hard to remove someone from this fog.

Many times when betrayed spouse’s find their spouse’s caught up in this “fog” they are unable to understand what their spouses are going through. They believe that their spouse has logically thought everything through and that they have found their perfect partner in their affair partner. I remember wondering why, all of a sudden, my husband was treating me SO badly. He was mean and nasty and acting like he couldn’t stand to even be around me and I was clueless as to why he was treating me this way.

I have since learned a lot about the “affair fog” and infatuation that now I can look at affairs more realistically. When I see others caught up in affairs that they are not thinking clearly and they are in no way acting in ways that one would consider rational. I can now see how an affair can turn any man who always puts his family first, into a person that only thinks of himself with no regard of the pain and devastation that he is causing.

Talking with those caught up in affairs, I see how little concern they have for the distress they are causing their families. They continually try to justify their actions. They surround themselves with other people who support their decision and who feel their affair partner is perfect for them. Those in the affair usually go around telling other people all of their affair partners redeeming qualities.

Until the “affair fog” and addiction are gone, healing from infidelity cannot begin. This fog usually won’t lift until 6 weeks have passed since they have had any sort of contact with the other person. That includes; seeing them, getting an email or text from them, speaking with them on the phone, etc. That is why it is so important to change jobs if they affair happened in the work place.