Christian Affair Is No Small Affair

It does happen, the Christian affair. Infidelity can touch even the most religious of households. When you pull away from God and your spouse then you are letting yourself be vulnerable to a Christian affair.

A while ago, I was with a woman and I watched her tears roll down her pretty face. A few months before I ever met her, her world seemed so perfect with a very loving husband and two great kids. Her life seemed so fun and full.

But there was a piece of her that felt very restless, empty and unsettled. She began having feelings of detachment with her spouse and she was very disappointed with their relationship. She wondered why he didn’t make her feel cherished and loved. Wasn’t he the one that was supposed to have her feel safe and right all the wrongs and leave her with a feeling of lasting love?

Not long ago she met this guy who said the things she’d always wanted to hear from her husband. This guy made her feel funny and pretty. Soon, she started rationalizing that she had never truly loved her husband at all. The web of deception soon began and she fell right into the other mans arms and thus began the Christian affair.

She didn’t want to come along to our churches women’s retreat. She didn’t want to because she realized it would make the guilt come and she was so over having those guilty feelings. All she was doing was biding her time until she could walk out on her husband and begin her new life with the other guy. Yet, her friends began to get suspicious of the way she was pulling away from all the church activities she used to love being a part of. So, to make them happy, she came to this retreat.

During the weekend, her walls she had carefully put up to push everyone out and away from her secret began to fall down. By the second night, she was sitting by me and she confessed about the Christian affair. She so desperately needed and wanted to understand how everyone seemed so full of the love of God. She now could see that her heart wasn’t craving the love of this other man but God’s love.

When you hunt down love that is not in God’s will you are going to get the opposite kind of love in your life. You can find what love really is in 1 Corinthians 13:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Now, the above is not what is just given to us when we are in love with someone. This is what God’s love is all about. This type of love will be ours as we strive to be Christ-like. This love isn’t ever focused at ourselves. It’s never about what you can get from someone else. This love is about making the decision to give your love away without wanting something in return.

I myself struggle with this. Because we were made for God’s love, if we let our relationship with Him slack, our hearts will begin to feel very empty, unfulfilled and restless.

I want to warn you to never get into a place where you think that you’re strong enough to never be tempted into a Christian affair. If we were truly honest with ourselves, we really are just a couple bad decisions from being in the same situation as this dear woman who is now working hard at untangling herself from her Christian affair. I have complete faith in God’s ability in restoring her, but the consequences of this affair will be very severe on so many levels.

The type of love your soul is craving is never going to be found with the things of the world. Perfectly satisfying and lasting love can only be found when we stop going after the wrong type of love and begin living out God’s truths.

Today’s Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please help me to only rely on Your love and not the love of the world. Show me how to guard my heart and make wise decisions. I never want to get drawn into the ways of the world and their “fake” love. Lord, please show me when I am starting to be drawn into it so that I can turn around before it’s too late. Please bring people into my life that are strong enough to speak the truth into my life. Amen.

Related Resources

If you would like more devotionals just for the betrayed spouse, please visit Godly Whispers to purchase the book “Godly Whispers – A 90-Day Devotional To Help You Recover From Your Spouse’s Affair”

You will develop a deeper trust in God, who can control what you cannot. You will be able to get rid of all those “what if” worries as you get a continuing touch of God’s love and goodness. You will experience a strengthening of your self-worth in the face of all the betrayal.

Steps You Can Take:

I want everyone to really hear me, can you please make the commitment today to seek out God’s love and not the worlds? If someone looks appealing to you and you find your heart being turned away from God, please commit that you will quickly admit this to another godly woman and seek their help.

Reflections:

Which of your friends can hold you accountable? Which friends can you develop this kind of openness with?

Extra Bible Verses:

Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.
Proverbs 4:23 (Amplified Bible)

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
Luke 6:45 (New International Version)

More Devotions

Forgiving Infidelity