But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.
Isaiah 40:31 (Amplified Bible)

After I found out about my husband’s year long affair, I was completely devastated and crushed. I found that my heart would race wildly, I was short of breath, my head felt full of cotton, and my heart felt like it had been torn to shreds. Really, words cannot describe the amount of pain I was in. I had never, in my life, felt so completely devastated, hopeless and utterly alone.

I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as my husband so how on earth were we going to survive this bomb that has landed right in the middle of our marriage? Should I make him move out? If I did, would he run into her arms? What if she is pregnant, what would I do then? What was I going to do now? Did he love her? Did he no longer love me? Did we have to get a divorce? What about the kids? Why did he do this to me, to us? Questions just bombarded my thoughts and wouldn’t leave me alone.

This is the reality of the grief behind affairs. Even when you love God with all your heart and you fully believe His promises and you know, in your heart, that hope is still there, it takes time. It’s going to take time to cry a rivers worth of tears. It’s going to take realizing the things God is doing right now in your life to bring you comfort. It’s going to take finding out that yes; the sun still shines every day. It’s going to take being caught off-guard when you realize that you’re smiling; just to realize that it’s okay to smile.

It’s going to take prayer and making the conscious decision to stop asking God for the answers to all your many questions and instead asking for perspective. It’s going to take seeking God’s wisdom instead of your own. It’s going to take God’s hand in helping you to fully forgive.

When I tell people that it literally takes YEARS to recover from affairs they usually don’t believe me. In fact, when I heard that, I also didn’t believe it. I heard that it takes 2-5 years to heal from affairs. I figured that I would be one of those folks that would be fine and completely healed by the 2 year mark. Well, when the 2 year mark came and I felt like I was still in as much pain as I was at 1 year, I became very angry and then I became depressed. I felt like giving up. So, after some thinking, I decided that I would work hard and I wouldn’t give up unless I was still in pain at the 5 year mark.

Want to know how long it took? 4½ years! So, please don’t give up just because you feel that it’s been long enough and that you feel that you should be further along than you are. There is hope and you can find it right in your bible. Spend time every day, seeking God’s face and asking Him for His wisdom and comfort. You will find that God will fill you with hope every day.

In my support group, I see loss of hope in almost all the faces there. Loss of hope will leave you devastated and severely depressed. The loss of hope can be extremely harmful to your healing process. Until you find your hope again, the healing is at a standstill.

What I am realizing is that we are putting our hope in the wrong place. Our hope shouldn’t be in our spouse, or in our marriage. Our hope should never be in another person because this kind of hope is very limited, and when it runs out, you are going to be left drained, disappointed, devastated, discouraged and hopeless! This kind of feeling may disguise itself as “hope”, but it’s completely different than the real hope that comes from God.

God’s hope refreshes and renews. It strengthens, empowers and uplifts. God’s hope never disappoints! You will find that there is always an unlimited supply of God’s hope. He knows that you are clinging to the wrong kind of hope and He knew that it would run out. He wants you to cling to Him, the one with the true, lasting and unlimited hope. Even though your circumstances are the same now as they were 5 minutes ago, your heart can be filled with God’s hope. You don’t have to be alone and hopeless. You need to place your hope in God and God alone.

Today’s Prayer

Dear Lord,
Thank You for Your awesome and never-ending hope. Please help me to always put all my hope in You and not in other people. I am so glad that through You, all things are possible. Please give me the strength and courage to get through this time in my life. Thank You for being the wonderful God that you are. Amen.

Related Resources

If you would like more devotionals just for the betrayed spouse, please visit http://www.godlywhispers.com/DevotionalBook to purchase the book “Godly Whispers – A 90-Day Devotional To Help You Recover From Your Spouse’s Affair”

You will develop a deeper trust in God, who can control what you cannot. You will be able to get rid of all those “what if” worries as you get a continuing touch of God’s love and goodness. You will experience a strengthening of your self-worth in the face of all the betrayal.

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Steps You Can Take:

I want you to pray and seek God’s face about your situation today. Ask for His wisdom and ask that He send you His perspective and His hope.

Reflections:

Ask God to reveal to you where exactly you are placing your hope. Are you putting your hope in places you shouldn’t be? Are you truly placing all your hope in the Lord? You are not alone and your situation is NOT hopeless!

Extra Bible Verses:

We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair. We are pursued (persecuted and hard driven), but not deserted [to stand alone]; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed. Always carrying about in the body the liability and exposure to the same putting to death that the Lord Jesus suffered, so that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (Amplified Bible)