When an affair has been discovered, trust is almost always shattered. It can splinter so horribly that it feels like it can never be restored again. You may even feel like you can no longer trust anyone or anything.

After I found out about my husband’s affair, I didn’t even know what the word trust meant any more. I no longer viewed the world the way I did before the affair. Everything was skewed and distorted. Everyone I spoke to I no longer trusted. If someone I loved so much and was supposed to love me could betray my trust so horribly, then so could anyone else. I no longer felt safe and I no longer had anyone I could trust and count on.

This loss of trust causes us great pain. We all of a sudden are suspicious of everything and everybody. I know that walking around being paranoid and jumpy is no way to live. I know that up until I found out about my husband’s affair, I had blind trust in him. I always thought that was the kind of trust I was supposed to have because if I didn’t, then it meant that I really didn’t love my husband. Well, I found out the hard way that this was wrong. No one should ever have blind trust in another person.

So, if we aren’t supposed to have blind trust in our spouse’s, then what kind of trust should we have? Should we trust our spouse’s? Yes, but not blindly. If your gut is telling you something is off, then you should not ignore it. That is what I did; I ignored that little voice that told me something was very wrong. I ignored it because my husband would never do something like that to me and I completely trusted him. We should not ignore our gut feelings over trust. If your gut is telling you something isn’t right, then take it to the Lord and He will tell you the steps you should take.

Where are you placing all your trust? Do you place more of your trust in things and others than you do God? I know that for me, I placed more trust in my husband, marriage and even myself than I did God.

Do you get quiet with God and He tells you something He wants you to do and then you just give a bunch of excuses of why you can’t do it? When you do this, you are basically telling God that you don’t trust Him and that you trust yourself and your plan more.

God wants you to be bigger and better than you are now. God only has your best interests at heart. He tells you to do things because He loves you, not because He’s punishing you. You’ll find that if you place your full trust in God you and your marriage will change for the better.

God will show you how to trust your spouse again. It won’t happen overnight but it will happen. Trust comes back slowly and in baby steps. You may even feel like it goes backwards at times, but if you continue to ONLY put your trust in God, you will come out on the other side of this affair a happier and totally healed person.

But, if you choose to not put your trust in God, then you will find that your healing process will become harder and your pain will last longer than need be. If you make plans and then expect God to follow them, you will find yourself upset, hurt and angry because things aren’t going the way you wanted them to go.

Sometimes trust is a really hard step to take – especially when it means you have to step out of your comfort zone and do something you were never expecting to do. That is why we have to choose to trust fully in God, despite how we are feeling.

You need to trust Go and stand on His promises even when your emotions have you confused and uncertain. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.”

God’s “no” could be for your protection, protecting you from something you cannot see. God’s “no” could be for your provision, providing something way better than what you thought was the best thing. God’s “no” could just be part of the process of growing you closer to Him. When we are weak, only then can we truly understand just how much God can be our strength.

Today’s Prayer

Dear Lord,
I trust You Lord. I trust Your plan for my life and marriage. I trust Your greatness. I trust what You can see and I cannot. I trust You with everything. Lord, please help me to trust you with every single situation in my life. Please help me to find that peaceful trust in You. Please give me enough wisdom to process my situation and enough perspective to keep my mind focused on You. Thank You for being the wonderful God that You are. Amen.

Related Resources

If you would like more devotionals just for the betrayed spouse, please visit http://www.godlywhispers.com/DevotionalBook to purchase the book “Godly Whispers – A 90-Day Devotional To Help You Recover From Your Spouse’s Affair”

You will develop a deeper trust in God, who can control what you cannot. You will be able to get rid of all those “what if” worries as you get a continuing touch of God’s love and goodness. You will experience a strengthening of your self-worth in the face of all the betrayal.

Steps You Can Take:

Memorize one of the Extra Verses below and repeat it throughout the day and remind yourself of God’s goodness during these difficult times in your life.

Is there a time that God did whatever it took and you later realized it was actually good for you? Spend time journaling about that today.

Reflections:

What stops you from trusting God?
Is there any way you can truly control your situation?
Isn’t it comforting knowing that you can leave what you can’t control in God’s completely capable hands?

Extra Bible Verses:

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
John 16:33 (New Living Translation)

For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Isaiah 55:9 (The Message)

When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.”
Jeremiah 29:13 (The Message)

More Devotions

Do You Want To Know The Secret To Stopping Your Negative Thoughts?
Christian Affair Is No Small Affair