“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”
Romans 8:37 (New Living Translation)


Forgiving infidelity? How is that even possible? How can I even fathom forgiving my husband for this cruel and horrible thing he did to me? Was it even possible to forgive such an act? I really could not wrap my brain around the fact that he actually had an affair with this woman for the past year and yet here he sat telling me about it and wanting to stay married. All I could think of was that if the situation was reversed he would be long gone but yet he expected me to forgive him and move on? I had no idea if I really could do that or if I even wanted to do that.

To tell you the truth, I didn’t even think about forgiving me for over 2 years. I was too devastated and in too much pain to just let him off the hook like that. You see at the time I felt that forgiving him meant I was saying that the affair was okay with me and that everything was now hunky dory with us. But it wasn’t okay with me and I knew it never would be okay with me so why would I forgive him when it was NOT okay? It took me a long time to realize that forgiving infidelity really had nothing to do with my husband but everything to do with me. Forgiving my husband in no way meant that what he did was okay with me, what it really meant was that I agreed to no longer bring up the affair in a mean way that is meant to hurt him. We could still discuss the affair, but forgiving meant I would no longer ever throw it back in his face.

Forgiveness also meant that I was giving up my resentment, my anger and my need to punish him. This was very hard, but I knew in my heart that I had to let go and let God work in my heart and dig out all those feelings so that I then would have room to forgive. My heart was so full of bitterness, resentment and anger that I didn’t have any room left for forgiveness, kindness, peace and love. If you cannot learn to forgive you will find yourself a very bitter person that no one wants to be around and I found myself becoming this person and even I couldn’t stand to be around myself.

God showed me that is was my unwillingness to forgive my husband that made me this way. I saw that I was refusing to forgive my husband as a way to punish him and all I was really doing was punishing myself. Through a lot of tears and praying there came a day where I realized that I had forgiven him and that I no longer had bitterness, resentment and anger locked up inside of my heart. This didn’t happened overnight, really it took years and I wish I knew then what I know now. God is the way to forgiving infidelity because without God, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive my husband for such a horrendous act.

The more you draw closer to God the more He can work in your heart and replace your bitterness, resentment and anger with that of love, peace, comfort, kindness and forgiveness. Don’t expect it to happen overnight, because we all have our own processes we must go through and lessons we need to learn so be patient and know that God will truly work in your heart if you let Him.


Today’s Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please fill me with Your wisdom so I will know just how to deal with all my raging emotions that I have inside of me. Fill my heart with Your love so that I may have the strength and want to, to forgive my spouse for their infidelity. Help me to remember that Your acceptance and approval is all I ever really need. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


Related Resources

If you would like more devotionals just for the betrayed spouse, please visit Godly Whispers to purchase the book “Godly Whispers – A 90-Day Devotional To Help You Recover From Your Spouse’s Affair”


You will develop a deeper trust in God, who can control what you cannot. You will be able to get rid of all those “what if” worries as you get a continuing touch of God’s love and goodness. You will experience a strengthening of your self-worth in the face of all the betrayal.


Steps You Can Take:

Ask God to intervene in your marriage and help you truly forgive your spouse and heal your marriage. I know right now it may seem utterly hopeless, but I am here to tell you that nothing is too big for God to tackle.

Spend some time journaling about the reasons why you are holding back your forgiveness and then pray over your list seeking God’s help in your quest of forgiving infidelity.


Reflections:

Holding onto your unforgiveness is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. Unforgiveness is poison to your soul and it will eat you alive from the inside out.


Extra Bible Verses:

“And forgive Your people, who have sinned against You, and all their transgressions against You, and grant them compassion before those who took them captive, that they may have pity and be merciful to them.”
1 Kings 8:50 (Amplified Bible)

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop.”
Mark 11:25 (Amplified Bible)

“Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.”
Psalm 36:5 (New Living Translation)


More Devotions

Infidelity In Marriage