Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.”
Matthew 19:26 (The Message)


Healing infidelity in marriage is never easy and doing it alone is just about impossible. As the above verse says, on your own it is impossible but you have every chance in the world when you put all your trust in God. I believe this whole heartedly because for the first 3 1/2 years I tried to heal from my husbands affair alone. I didn’t get anywhere in those years. I found that I was full of bitterness, resentment and anger and that I was killing my marriage, not making it better. No matter what I did I couldn’t seem to let go of all those negative thoughts and feelings. I started hating who I was becoming and I knew if I didn’t change that I would end up divorced and miserable for the rest of my life.

When someone first finds out about the infidelity in marriage the devastation is usually mind boggling. Your body is in shock and your emotions are all over the place. This is the worst time for anyone to make any kind of life altering decisions. Many times people make decisions based on their emotions and then years later they deeply regret these decisions. During the first year after finding out about the affair you should refrain from making any kind of life altering decision. At this time it’s very hard to see yourself in a happy marriage again and you’re so full of hurt that you in turn make bad choices.

During this time while you heal from infidelity in marriage you need to turn to God. He wants to cover you under His wing of protection but He can’t if you are running away from Him. It is common to blame God when you are in this situation but God didn’t do this to your marriage but He is there to help you heal from it. I wish I would have done that first because I would have saved myself years of heartache and pain if I would have just turned to Him first we could have healed a lot faster.

You may feel that healing from infidelity in marriage is impossible and you know what, I felt the same exact way. I felt that there was no way I could forgive such a horrible act such as this and how would I ever love and respect my husband again. I kept trying on my own but my heart was so full of bitterness, resentment and anger that I couldn’t find the love and respect anymore. Once I surrendered all these feelings to God I started to notice a big difference in how I was feeling towards my husband. I noticed that God was working in my heart and taking out all the bad stuff and replacing them with love and respect and honor again.

If you are struggling like I was and wondering why you still are not healed then I incourage you to spend time each day in the Word and in prayer. Give all your thoughts and feelings over to God and let Him change your heart towards your spouse. This is the reason I wrote the devotional book “Godly Whispers” so that you could focus on a devotion each day specifically for someone that has been betrayed with infidelity in marriage.


Today’s Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please help me with my negative thoughts and feelings. I don’t want to live a life full of bitterness, resentment and anger. Please take these from me and fill me with Your love, peace and comfort. Please send me your wisdom to know which way I should turn and help me to never make any life altering decisions based on my emotions. Please show me the right path to take concerning my marriage. Amen.


Related Resources

If you would like more devotionals just for the betrayed spouse, please visit Godly Whispers to purchase the book “Godly Whispers – A 90-Day Devotional To Help You Recover From Your Spouse’s Affair”


You will develop a deeper trust in God, who can control what you cannot. You will be able to get rid of all those “what if” worries as you get a continuing touch of God’s love and goodness. You will experience a strengthening of your self-worth in the face of all the betrayal.


Steps You Can Take:

Write a letter to God being totally open and honest. Really pour out your heart to Him. This is your first step in toward healing and hope.


Reflections:

As you read through this devotion, what struggles are similar to yours? What struggles are you dealing with right now? What do you need to do to rely on God’s perspective and not your own?


Extra Bible Verses:

You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, and Your right hand has held me up; Your gentleness and condescension have made me great.
Psalm 18:35 (Amplified Bible)

I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.
Psalm 63:8 (New Living Translation)

We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield.
Psalm 33:20 (New Living Translation)