Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.
Galatians 1:10 (New Living Bible)

Something everyone faces in life is rejection and it comes in many different forms but having your spouse cheat on you is the worst type of rejection one can face. An affair can hugely damage ones self-esteem. I know that before I found out about my husband’s affair, I didn’t hate myself. I didn’t think I was a bad wife, a bad mother, a bad friend or even a bad person. But, after I found out about the affair, this all changed.

I started believing that I was this horrible wife. That I was a big fat ugly cow that no one would ever want. I hated everything about myself. I wasn’t as thin, chatty or fun as the other woman. Since, in my eyes, my husband tossed me aside for her, then what he saw in me he no longer wanted. I was no longer good enough or fun enough or pretty enough for him. I was so down on myself that I was thrown into a major depression.

During this period of my life, I found that I was very focused on myself. It was extremely hard to pull away from my hurt and pain so that I could think clearly and rationally. It’s like standing to close to a wall. You can’t see around the wall unless you step far enough back. This is something you need to learn how to do, to emotionally step away from the situation and learn to let God tell you what is true and what isn’t.

I found that I was trapped in a vicious cycle of my own negative thinking. Thoughts like, how could he do this to me. I must be a horrible wife. There must be something wrong with me since he seemed to have just thrown me to the side. Why can’t I be more fun? Why didn’t I try to stay in better shape? Why didn’t I dress better? I am sure you are also struggling with damaging negative thoughts too.

Here are three truths to handling rejection:

Truth #1:

You need to fully understand and accept the fact that you are made in the image of God. You are told this in Genesis 1:27; “So God created human beings in his own image”. In the image of God He created them. You are God’s very own unique work of art. You are His masterpiece! You are precious and valuable because you are a child of God. You need to always remember who you are in Christ and you need to purposely choose to see yourself through God’s loving eyes.

Everyday day, as many times as you can I want you to say this out. It comes from Romans 5:5.

Hope never disappoints or deceives or embarrasses me because God’s love has been poured out in my heart through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to me.

Truth #2:

Rejection can only be harmful when you internalize it. If you allow the rejection to seep into your personal belief system then you are going down a very destructive path. You have to understand that you cannot control what other people think. You cannot control whether or not others are going to approve of you. The only thing you can control is your own attitude and your own beliefs. If you let others opinions to manipulate the opinions you have of yourself, then you are letting the ones who hurt you, to have power over your thoughts. You must learn to keep your thoughts focused on God, and how much He loves you. Don’t let yourself dwell on the opinion of other people.

Truth #3:

The way you battle the devastating effects of rejection is by fully understanding your position in Christ. You are God’s most prized possession! You need to spend a lot of focused time on who you matter to, instead of the ones you don’t. If you look through the first book of Peter, you will find that you are chosen, accepted, holy, royal and instruments for God’s work. Your position is one of royalty, and you are a very significant instrument in God’s spiritual orchestra.

This is probably going to be the most painful time in your whole life, but I am here to tell you that you CAN triumph, as long as you remember that God is your strength. God is a very forgiving God, and He desires that you be just as forgiving as well. I know that this seems like a totally impossible task right now, but He is more than enough to get you through this time in your life. He is your Almighty Redeemer.

You don’t need anyone’s approval, and you are never going to be able to please everyone. The only approve you need is God’s. God is right there beside you, waiting to soak your soul with His comfort, peace and love to help you through this devastating time in your life. But, first, you must have the spiritual ears open, to hear His comforting and loving voice.


Today’s Prayer

Dear Lord,
Please send Your wisdom on how to deal with this horrific betrayal. Right now I feel so worthless, rejected and hurt. Please fill me with Your peace, comfort and love so that I may start the forgiving process. Please help me to remember that Your acceptance and approval is all I ever need. Thanks for being the wonderful God that you are. Amen.


Related Resources

If you would like more devotionals just for the betrayed spouse, please visit http://www.godlywhispers.com/DevotionalBook to purchase the book “Godly Whispers – A 90-Day Devotional To Help You Recover From Your Spouse’s Affair”


You will develop a deeper trust in God, who can control what you cannot. You will be able to get rid of all those “what if” worries as you get a continuing touch of God’s love and goodness. You will experience a strengthening of your self-worth in the face of all the betrayal.


Steps You Can Take:

Every time negative thoughts want to take over I want you to replace them with promises from God’s Word. Replace those negative thoughts and beliefs with the truth that God is an awesome provider and that His unfailing love for you will never be shaken. Replace those negative thoughts by seeking God’s face and calling upon Him because He is always by your side.

Do as in John 10:10-11: When someone rejects you, don’t let it get to you and bring your spirit down, shake it off and keep going.


Reflections:

How can God’s comfort and peace restore you today? Could this devotion, showing up in your inbox today, be a reminder from God that He sees you and deeply cares about your situation?


Extra Bible Verses:

For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.
1 Thessalonians 2:4 (New Living Translation)


More Devotions

Do You Feel That All Your Hope Is Gone?
Do You Know Where To Put Your Trust After An Affair?